During this project we were to select a country from Africa and choose a time period that seemed interesting, then gather as much information on the country during that time as we could find. After finding info on our countries we had to take bits of it and turn it into an Historical Fiction story that summed up what had happened during the time period. While working on our stories we also had to create an art piece that showed some sort of meaning to your story.
I think that my story does a rather good job of creating a realistic and easily imaginable setting that can bring the story to life, simply by adding small details and descriptions. That's my opinion anyways. One section of my story has a good good example of this, shown in this quote, "What seemed like several hours had gone by, and I felt as if I were walking in circles; there was almost no sign of civilization except for the occasional few planks of wood that littered the ground when found. They seemed to be the remnants of old shacks, blown away by the desert winds. After a short while longer, when the sun had started to set on the horizon, I saw off in the distance what looked like it could be the top of a tall building. With a look of joy on my face, I quickly started to run to the top of the dune to see if it was true. Nearing the top, a very large building started to come into view. Once over the large hill there was a vast city stretched out across the land, glowing a deep orange from the setting sun." I think that this part from my story shows good descriptions of the characters surroundings and it shows a good amount of literary elements. In-depth descriptions are a good thing to add to stories because it creates a detailed setting for the reader.
A literary element that I had a hard time incorporating into my story was mainly just adding parts to the story where the main character was talking to other people. Throughout my story there were only a couple of instances where the character would communicate with other people that he came across. This element was difficult for me to add to the story because it was originally in the third person so I had some issues adding parts to the story where the character could talk with other people. Also I am not very good at creating scenes where there is a lot of communication between people. I think it would be good for me to work on communication between characters.
Before I had revised my story there were several punctuation errors that needed to be addressed, mainly adding commas where they were needed. This change had really helped with the flow of my story and made it much easier to read. One other large revision that I did was change my story from a third person perspective to a first person perspective. In doing so I had to add a whole other section to the story where the main character got caught up in a street riot and had to find a way to escape. I think this had helped give better understanding of what was going on in the city while the character was on the pyramid. Other than those two revisions there was not much else that had to be changed about the story.
Africa Story: Observing From Afar
Walking through the Jungle was quite the challenge. There were vines and roots sprawled out all over the jungle floor, not tripping over them was like trying to staple water to a tree; you just couldn't do it. After hours of roaming through an unfamiliar forest, I finally reached the edge. It actually couldn't really be considered an edge, more like an entrance to yet another hell, just with a lot less trees and a lot more sand. Yes, I was now about to enter a desert.
Sighing loudly at the sight of this new environment I reached into my bag and pulled out my ever so handy turban. Wiping the sweat from my cheeks and forehead, I started to slowly wrap the cooling cloth around my face to try to attempt avoiding dehydration. This was a rather big concern of mine, because I was running pretty low with my supply of drinking water. I stopped my thoughts and readied myself for the trek ahead.
What seemed like several hours had gone by, and I felt as if I were walking in circles; there was almost no sign of civilization except for the occasional few planks of wood that littered the ground when found. They seemed to be the remnants of old shacks. After a short while longer, when the sun had started to set on the horizon, I saw off in the distance what looked like it could be the top of a tall building. With a look of joy on my face, I quickly started to run to the top of the dune to see if it was true. Nearing the top, a large building started to come into view. Once over the large hill there was a vast city stretched out across the land. I looked out over the city in awe; it looked amazing with the setting sun behind it, slowly disappearing over the horizon. I took a deep breath, smiled, and started into the city. Even at this time, the streets were still filled with people chattering away. Scanning the streets, I looked to find someone who might know English, for my Arabic was not very good. At last I spotted someone who looked like they might speak at least a little. Walking up to him, I started to ask in broken Arabic if they knew English. With a smile, the man turned to face me and responded.
“I- know- some.” he said, still smiling.
“Ahah! Thank goodness! I was wondering if there was a hotel or inn somewhere around here?”
“Uhhh... follow- main- road- there, should- be- one- 1- kilometer- ahead.”
The man, still smiling, was trying to attempt to speak to me in very broken and chippy English. Although I got the gist of what he was saying, it was very hard to suppress my laughter at his attempt to try speaking to me. After thanking him for giving me directions I began to head to my destination. There were several things on the way there that interested me; one being the very interesting and delicious looking foods that people were trying to sell to me. They would come up with woven bowls of beans and rice. Maneuvering through the crowds of people that filled the streets proved to be quite the challenge and by the time I got to the hotel the sun had already set. Walking through the front doors, the receptionist greeted me and asked if I would like to buy a room. Apparently noticing my confusion, the receptionist tried communicating in several languages. I stood, scratching my head with a wry smile until she finally tried English, and I quickly pointed to her and shouted “Yes!”. Taken aback by my sudden outburst, she looked at me with a blank expression. I let out a nervous chuckle and apologized. After a few moments of awkward silence, I asked if I could purchase a room for the night. She gladly took the money I was holding out to her and put it into the register. After about a second the machine beeped, confirming my purchase.
“Alright, your card went through, here is your room key. If there's anything you need, just let me know.” She said handing me my room key.
“Ah, thank you very much.”
With that I left the lobby and headed to an elevator nearby. Inside there was quite the assortment of buttons which led me to believe that there were a lot more floors than it looked from the outside. I took a quick glance at my key and tapped the corresponding button. The elevator quickly lurched upwards to the floor my room was on. While in the elevator, I started thinking about how this place was pretty high end for 2011. It seemed like a lot of the things in this hotel were new and quite advanced. More so than most hotels at least. Finally the elevator reached my floor, and I entered my room.
The bed in the room felt like a cloud compared to what I was sleeping on out in the jungle; just a sleeping bag on the ground with a tarp tied to two trees above me. With a sudden realization that I was caked in dirt and sweat, I shot up out of the bed and fast walked to the bathroom. After having not showered in about three days, I was overly happy to get into one again. It was a really nice and After my long shower I dried off, hopped into bed and fell into a deep sleep. I didn't wake up for another 14 hours at the least, and when I did finally wake up there was a loud commotion outside. Hearing the ruckus woke me up pretty fast, and I proceeded to take a look out my window. Peering out I realized I was up a lot higher than I thought I was, but from what I could see there was a large group of people assembled in the courtyard in front of the hotel. Wondering what was happening, I made my way back down to the lobby. The receptionist from yesterday was staring out the front doors at the crowd of people outside. The crowd seemed like it had grown in size since about five minutes ago, and it continued to grow still. Curious to know what was happening I stepped outside and silently walked over to the crowd. In the center there was a man yelling about how the government was corrupted and how they needed to have their rights restored; I couldn't understand him all that well but from what I was able to make out it seemed like they were trying to start a rebellion. He was revving up the crowd and giving countless reasons why they should follow him. That was the last thing that I wanted to be part of. I slowly backed off from the crowd and made my way back to the lobby of the hotel. Once back inside, the receptionist started asking me questions.
“Whats going on out there? She asked.
Still a little hazy from just waking up it took me a moment to answer her question.
“Oh, uh, it kind of sounds like they're trying to start some sort of rebellion against the government?” I was utterly confused about what was happening. This was probably the best explanation I could give.
She stood there for a second seemingly very worried. “Oh, I see.” She then fell silent.
I paid for one more night there and headed back to my room. I decided to leave this city tomorrow afternoon. I didn't want to get caught up in some rebellion.
After a good nights sleep I awoke to hear people chanting out in the streets. I figured this to be the best time to leave. I quickly gathered up my things and made for the courtyard out front. Once outside I took an alleyway to my right and slipped through crowds of people rioting against police. This situation had escalated out of control very quickly and I really needed to get out of this city. Nearing what seemed to be the edge of the city I caught a glimpse of the Great Pyramid. Seeing the massive structure in the distance brought me to an abrupt halt. I wanted to see. Up close. I hesitated a moment before changing direction and headed out towards where the epic structure sat.
There seemed to be quite the distance between the pyramid and the city. For some reason I figured that the top would be the best place for me at the moment. There were a few guards that surrounded the area but they didn't seem to be very alert so it was easy to sneak past them. I knew the reason they were there was to keep people out but I was intent. Once at the base of the pyramid, I realized that this would probably prove to be an extremely difficult task to climb to the top, but I still wanted to get there. Climbing up the huge squares of stone took at least an hour before I finally reached the top. Pulling myself up over the last block, I let out an enormous sigh and rolled over onto my back. I laid there for a couple minutes, looking at the colorful sky and then sat up, crossing my legs.
The sun was already sinking below the horizon and the sky grew darker. I could hear people shouting throughout the city. There were flares of light through the streets that looked like flames and probably were. I sat there watching over the city for the rest of the night, barely getting any sleep. When I woke up the next morning, the sounds that I heard last night had gotten much quieter, it seemed like a large part of the protesting group that I saw yesterday had been suppressed by the police or they had gone home. I figured since there didn't seem to be that much going on at the moment it would be a good time to find a shop, if possible at the edge of the city, so that I could restock my supplies of food and water. I hadn't really realized it before but I was actually really hungry. I laughed at myself for not realizing something that was happening with my own body. I was more focused on what was going on around me. Walking back into the city, I spotted a small market that looked like it was still open. There were several foods around the shop that I was unfamiliar with. It all smelled really nice and I really wanted to try almost all of it. Unfortunately I felt that I only had a certain amount of time left so I went around and found the things that I needed most as fast as I could. It was only a small assortment of food and a few bottles of water that I purchased. Leaving the small building I ran into a man who looked distressed. Almost scary looking too. The man looked at me and told me to follow him now. At first I declined but as I was I realized that he was slowly pushing me away from where I was trying to get. I tried to resist him pushing me but he grabbed my wrist and took off with me in tow.
This was bad, I had no idea who this man was or what he was going to do. Turning a corner, I saw a large group of people ahead who were marching through the streets. This was the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen. I tried to run away, but the man pulled me onwards. As we reached the crowd of people, he pulled me into it and yelled at me over the sounds of other people to join him. I turned my head back and forth in disagreement, but I couldn't do anything to get out of the crowd. At that moment the overly large group of people exploded in a bout of yelling and screaming and advanced forward at running speed. I was still stuck in the middle when people started throwing large rocks and every once in a while a Molotov at a riot squad that blocked the street ahead. I didn't want to be a part of this at all, and started looking for a way to escape. As I was thinking, I tripped over my own feet and landed face first on the ground. This worked to my advantage though, because as I was laying there the crowd continued onwards and left me there. I figured this to be the best time to make my escape from the riots and move back to the edge of the city as fast as I could.
Back on top of the pyramid, I turned on a small gaslight I had and pulled out a burner to cook my food, I didn't really have much I could make at the moment, mainly just some beans and rice, but that was fine for now, I didn't really plan to spend too much more time up here. The days I spent here seemed like they were going by faster and faster. Today, by the time night was approaching, I started seeing people emerge from their houses and crowd out into the streets. They would all gather around the same time, as if it were organized earlier, and then head out to I know not where. I watched the large crowd from afar, thinking about what could have started this epidemic. I could hear yelling and some gunfire now and then, there were what sounded like explosions, and I could see orange bursts on the sides of buildings. However, this was nothing new to me, over the past two nights I had seen this happening. I also started seeing riot squads arriving in trucks and vans, they went out and tried to hold back the rioters but they eventually got through using force. It was all kind of hard to watch, really. There were countless people lying in the streets, badly injured from being beaten by the police or getting trampled in the crowds of people. I felt bad that there was nothing I could do to try to stop this. Most of the city smelled of smoke and there were small fires everywhere. I decided that I really needed to leave this place immediately. With this thought in mind, I gathered up all the things that I had brought with me and put them into my bag. With that done I put the bag over my shoulders and started the climb down the side of the pyramid. I wanted to get to an airport fast so that I could get out of here. From the side of the pyramid, I took one last look over the top of the city and then continued my descent.
I felt like sneaking back into the city would be kind of hard, but it turned out it was really easy. I was just paranoid that the crowds of people would drag me into their protesting and riots again. Now that was something that I'd hope to avoid.
Finally, I found the area where the airport was and thought that I would be fine for now. Walking through the front doors I noticed the place was nearly deserted. That was fine though, as long as their were planes running I could get out of here. I walked up to the front desk and bought myself a ticket to London. Waiting for the flight felt like forever. While waiting I thought over what I had observed from the top of the pyramid. I thought about how I'd seen the mass of people being beaten in the streets and how there was teargas almost everywhere. There were fires that littered the streets and injured and bloodied people lying everywhere. In my slight daze, I heard a beep and realized that my flight was boarding. With a sigh of relief, I stood up and headed to the gate. This was hopefully the last time I spent in Egypt. I hope...
I think that my story does a rather good job of creating a realistic and easily imaginable setting that can bring the story to life, simply by adding small details and descriptions. That's my opinion anyways. One section of my story has a good good example of this, shown in this quote, "What seemed like several hours had gone by, and I felt as if I were walking in circles; there was almost no sign of civilization except for the occasional few planks of wood that littered the ground when found. They seemed to be the remnants of old shacks, blown away by the desert winds. After a short while longer, when the sun had started to set on the horizon, I saw off in the distance what looked like it could be the top of a tall building. With a look of joy on my face, I quickly started to run to the top of the dune to see if it was true. Nearing the top, a very large building started to come into view. Once over the large hill there was a vast city stretched out across the land, glowing a deep orange from the setting sun." I think that this part from my story shows good descriptions of the characters surroundings and it shows a good amount of literary elements. In-depth descriptions are a good thing to add to stories because it creates a detailed setting for the reader.
A literary element that I had a hard time incorporating into my story was mainly just adding parts to the story where the main character was talking to other people. Throughout my story there were only a couple of instances where the character would communicate with other people that he came across. This element was difficult for me to add to the story because it was originally in the third person so I had some issues adding parts to the story where the character could talk with other people. Also I am not very good at creating scenes where there is a lot of communication between people. I think it would be good for me to work on communication between characters.
Before I had revised my story there were several punctuation errors that needed to be addressed, mainly adding commas where they were needed. This change had really helped with the flow of my story and made it much easier to read. One other large revision that I did was change my story from a third person perspective to a first person perspective. In doing so I had to add a whole other section to the story where the main character got caught up in a street riot and had to find a way to escape. I think this had helped give better understanding of what was going on in the city while the character was on the pyramid. Other than those two revisions there was not much else that had to be changed about the story.
Africa Story: Observing From Afar
Walking through the Jungle was quite the challenge. There were vines and roots sprawled out all over the jungle floor, not tripping over them was like trying to staple water to a tree; you just couldn't do it. After hours of roaming through an unfamiliar forest, I finally reached the edge. It actually couldn't really be considered an edge, more like an entrance to yet another hell, just with a lot less trees and a lot more sand. Yes, I was now about to enter a desert.
Sighing loudly at the sight of this new environment I reached into my bag and pulled out my ever so handy turban. Wiping the sweat from my cheeks and forehead, I started to slowly wrap the cooling cloth around my face to try to attempt avoiding dehydration. This was a rather big concern of mine, because I was running pretty low with my supply of drinking water. I stopped my thoughts and readied myself for the trek ahead.
What seemed like several hours had gone by, and I felt as if I were walking in circles; there was almost no sign of civilization except for the occasional few planks of wood that littered the ground when found. They seemed to be the remnants of old shacks. After a short while longer, when the sun had started to set on the horizon, I saw off in the distance what looked like it could be the top of a tall building. With a look of joy on my face, I quickly started to run to the top of the dune to see if it was true. Nearing the top, a large building started to come into view. Once over the large hill there was a vast city stretched out across the land. I looked out over the city in awe; it looked amazing with the setting sun behind it, slowly disappearing over the horizon. I took a deep breath, smiled, and started into the city. Even at this time, the streets were still filled with people chattering away. Scanning the streets, I looked to find someone who might know English, for my Arabic was not very good. At last I spotted someone who looked like they might speak at least a little. Walking up to him, I started to ask in broken Arabic if they knew English. With a smile, the man turned to face me and responded.
“I- know- some.” he said, still smiling.
“Ahah! Thank goodness! I was wondering if there was a hotel or inn somewhere around here?”
“Uhhh... follow- main- road- there, should- be- one- 1- kilometer- ahead.”
The man, still smiling, was trying to attempt to speak to me in very broken and chippy English. Although I got the gist of what he was saying, it was very hard to suppress my laughter at his attempt to try speaking to me. After thanking him for giving me directions I began to head to my destination. There were several things on the way there that interested me; one being the very interesting and delicious looking foods that people were trying to sell to me. They would come up with woven bowls of beans and rice. Maneuvering through the crowds of people that filled the streets proved to be quite the challenge and by the time I got to the hotel the sun had already set. Walking through the front doors, the receptionist greeted me and asked if I would like to buy a room. Apparently noticing my confusion, the receptionist tried communicating in several languages. I stood, scratching my head with a wry smile until she finally tried English, and I quickly pointed to her and shouted “Yes!”. Taken aback by my sudden outburst, she looked at me with a blank expression. I let out a nervous chuckle and apologized. After a few moments of awkward silence, I asked if I could purchase a room for the night. She gladly took the money I was holding out to her and put it into the register. After about a second the machine beeped, confirming my purchase.
“Alright, your card went through, here is your room key. If there's anything you need, just let me know.” She said handing me my room key.
“Ah, thank you very much.”
With that I left the lobby and headed to an elevator nearby. Inside there was quite the assortment of buttons which led me to believe that there were a lot more floors than it looked from the outside. I took a quick glance at my key and tapped the corresponding button. The elevator quickly lurched upwards to the floor my room was on. While in the elevator, I started thinking about how this place was pretty high end for 2011. It seemed like a lot of the things in this hotel were new and quite advanced. More so than most hotels at least. Finally the elevator reached my floor, and I entered my room.
The bed in the room felt like a cloud compared to what I was sleeping on out in the jungle; just a sleeping bag on the ground with a tarp tied to two trees above me. With a sudden realization that I was caked in dirt and sweat, I shot up out of the bed and fast walked to the bathroom. After having not showered in about three days, I was overly happy to get into one again. It was a really nice and After my long shower I dried off, hopped into bed and fell into a deep sleep. I didn't wake up for another 14 hours at the least, and when I did finally wake up there was a loud commotion outside. Hearing the ruckus woke me up pretty fast, and I proceeded to take a look out my window. Peering out I realized I was up a lot higher than I thought I was, but from what I could see there was a large group of people assembled in the courtyard in front of the hotel. Wondering what was happening, I made my way back down to the lobby. The receptionist from yesterday was staring out the front doors at the crowd of people outside. The crowd seemed like it had grown in size since about five minutes ago, and it continued to grow still. Curious to know what was happening I stepped outside and silently walked over to the crowd. In the center there was a man yelling about how the government was corrupted and how they needed to have their rights restored; I couldn't understand him all that well but from what I was able to make out it seemed like they were trying to start a rebellion. He was revving up the crowd and giving countless reasons why they should follow him. That was the last thing that I wanted to be part of. I slowly backed off from the crowd and made my way back to the lobby of the hotel. Once back inside, the receptionist started asking me questions.
“Whats going on out there? She asked.
Still a little hazy from just waking up it took me a moment to answer her question.
“Oh, uh, it kind of sounds like they're trying to start some sort of rebellion against the government?” I was utterly confused about what was happening. This was probably the best explanation I could give.
She stood there for a second seemingly very worried. “Oh, I see.” She then fell silent.
I paid for one more night there and headed back to my room. I decided to leave this city tomorrow afternoon. I didn't want to get caught up in some rebellion.
After a good nights sleep I awoke to hear people chanting out in the streets. I figured this to be the best time to leave. I quickly gathered up my things and made for the courtyard out front. Once outside I took an alleyway to my right and slipped through crowds of people rioting against police. This situation had escalated out of control very quickly and I really needed to get out of this city. Nearing what seemed to be the edge of the city I caught a glimpse of the Great Pyramid. Seeing the massive structure in the distance brought me to an abrupt halt. I wanted to see. Up close. I hesitated a moment before changing direction and headed out towards where the epic structure sat.
There seemed to be quite the distance between the pyramid and the city. For some reason I figured that the top would be the best place for me at the moment. There were a few guards that surrounded the area but they didn't seem to be very alert so it was easy to sneak past them. I knew the reason they were there was to keep people out but I was intent. Once at the base of the pyramid, I realized that this would probably prove to be an extremely difficult task to climb to the top, but I still wanted to get there. Climbing up the huge squares of stone took at least an hour before I finally reached the top. Pulling myself up over the last block, I let out an enormous sigh and rolled over onto my back. I laid there for a couple minutes, looking at the colorful sky and then sat up, crossing my legs.
The sun was already sinking below the horizon and the sky grew darker. I could hear people shouting throughout the city. There were flares of light through the streets that looked like flames and probably were. I sat there watching over the city for the rest of the night, barely getting any sleep. When I woke up the next morning, the sounds that I heard last night had gotten much quieter, it seemed like a large part of the protesting group that I saw yesterday had been suppressed by the police or they had gone home. I figured since there didn't seem to be that much going on at the moment it would be a good time to find a shop, if possible at the edge of the city, so that I could restock my supplies of food and water. I hadn't really realized it before but I was actually really hungry. I laughed at myself for not realizing something that was happening with my own body. I was more focused on what was going on around me. Walking back into the city, I spotted a small market that looked like it was still open. There were several foods around the shop that I was unfamiliar with. It all smelled really nice and I really wanted to try almost all of it. Unfortunately I felt that I only had a certain amount of time left so I went around and found the things that I needed most as fast as I could. It was only a small assortment of food and a few bottles of water that I purchased. Leaving the small building I ran into a man who looked distressed. Almost scary looking too. The man looked at me and told me to follow him now. At first I declined but as I was I realized that he was slowly pushing me away from where I was trying to get. I tried to resist him pushing me but he grabbed my wrist and took off with me in tow.
This was bad, I had no idea who this man was or what he was going to do. Turning a corner, I saw a large group of people ahead who were marching through the streets. This was the exact opposite of what I wanted to happen. I tried to run away, but the man pulled me onwards. As we reached the crowd of people, he pulled me into it and yelled at me over the sounds of other people to join him. I turned my head back and forth in disagreement, but I couldn't do anything to get out of the crowd. At that moment the overly large group of people exploded in a bout of yelling and screaming and advanced forward at running speed. I was still stuck in the middle when people started throwing large rocks and every once in a while a Molotov at a riot squad that blocked the street ahead. I didn't want to be a part of this at all, and started looking for a way to escape. As I was thinking, I tripped over my own feet and landed face first on the ground. This worked to my advantage though, because as I was laying there the crowd continued onwards and left me there. I figured this to be the best time to make my escape from the riots and move back to the edge of the city as fast as I could.
Back on top of the pyramid, I turned on a small gaslight I had and pulled out a burner to cook my food, I didn't really have much I could make at the moment, mainly just some beans and rice, but that was fine for now, I didn't really plan to spend too much more time up here. The days I spent here seemed like they were going by faster and faster. Today, by the time night was approaching, I started seeing people emerge from their houses and crowd out into the streets. They would all gather around the same time, as if it were organized earlier, and then head out to I know not where. I watched the large crowd from afar, thinking about what could have started this epidemic. I could hear yelling and some gunfire now and then, there were what sounded like explosions, and I could see orange bursts on the sides of buildings. However, this was nothing new to me, over the past two nights I had seen this happening. I also started seeing riot squads arriving in trucks and vans, they went out and tried to hold back the rioters but they eventually got through using force. It was all kind of hard to watch, really. There were countless people lying in the streets, badly injured from being beaten by the police or getting trampled in the crowds of people. I felt bad that there was nothing I could do to try to stop this. Most of the city smelled of smoke and there were small fires everywhere. I decided that I really needed to leave this place immediately. With this thought in mind, I gathered up all the things that I had brought with me and put them into my bag. With that done I put the bag over my shoulders and started the climb down the side of the pyramid. I wanted to get to an airport fast so that I could get out of here. From the side of the pyramid, I took one last look over the top of the city and then continued my descent.
I felt like sneaking back into the city would be kind of hard, but it turned out it was really easy. I was just paranoid that the crowds of people would drag me into their protesting and riots again. Now that was something that I'd hope to avoid.
Finally, I found the area where the airport was and thought that I would be fine for now. Walking through the front doors I noticed the place was nearly deserted. That was fine though, as long as their were planes running I could get out of here. I walked up to the front desk and bought myself a ticket to London. Waiting for the flight felt like forever. While waiting I thought over what I had observed from the top of the pyramid. I thought about how I'd seen the mass of people being beaten in the streets and how there was teargas almost everywhere. There were fires that littered the streets and injured and bloodied people lying everywhere. In my slight daze, I heard a beep and realized that my flight was boarding. With a sigh of relief, I stood up and headed to the gate. This was hopefully the last time I spent in Egypt. I hope...